The Catastrophic Ménage(story of a molested girl)

 

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As she texted this to me, While her family had reached her city and was on their way to pick her up. She still had to do a couple of dishes but had just lotioned her hands. It was nice to worry about the meager present for a while. Too devastating and she can only Lie to herself for so long.

Like Ordinary girls, It was nice to worry about certain things like nail polish chipping, The skin problems, tanning level etc. The destination was waiting to embrace her but she knows the cost, She has to perform the old version of her for her family. Not all of it was a NATAK but it weighed on her That she was a coward to play for even a scene.

Does the Quran there sound exactly like the one near her mom’s? Her thoughts made me write about this, in between thoughts of these confusions, but duties beckon. It was not winter-break 3am yesterday anymore, staying up until her body clock asked for sleep. Her life was a surely real arthouse drugged dream and it demanded a dying star.

she said performance, pretension like she was anything but. She wanted to remember feeling like this, but she knew She would remember only how the heater was a good hair dryer or that the outside looked like a picture with the bright blue highlight on everything, like the sky was throwing up everything inside of it.

She looked at all that empty inside. Look at the not-necessary people who didn’t matter until they were gone, mostly present in absence & all the background noise she always wanted to escape out, now was louder than ever in her missings; recalled the dial up the volume. She could see the world and the way it wasn’t meant to be.

She had folded up her blanket since She started. she chart time in tasks so there’s always a keen, set to a low volume in the back of her mind, wail pitched to the panic that she was not getting enough done. Maybe she was nervous about mother’s reaction when she comes into her room and realizes she didn’t eat as much as she lied & said she did. maybe she wasn’t pretending the nervousness wasn’t actually about going her mamu marrying into her molester’s family.

She unraveled ideas from her trauma but it was grand and decaying, combination so political that wasn’t personal, something that reconciled herself and her duty that awaited an inevitable loss.

She realized her longing had spilled out the window when she heard it landed on the stairs below, something wet, like her heart falling.  The privilege of worrying about brows & cosmic emptiness & not the possibility that the coming week would put more children in her family in danger & her silence made her complicit. her bones fly away from her face, cutting through her mother to make her. She painted them over with gold and lies. the show must go on.

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Why live for “what comes next?”

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Whenever we look out for doing something or having something we always think in a way what is going to happen or what had happened earlier with us, irrespective of if we want to that work or not. isn’t it?

Time: we all have it, but who knows how much, why to compromise your happiness and satisfaction?

the following depicts what I meant.:-

” One day you will look in the face

of the demon, which going to

tear you up. you will left nothing.

Not too much of exploring to

no more of anything, just thinking.

What you worried was all about the coming things to

do without the present which was quite boosting.

Now you will be left with the unsatisfaction to

The life which could be full of wonders and surprises.

But you were saving…. but you were thinking

what others will say? what others will think?

Isn’t it?

Life will be always be attached to the word,”DEATH”.

Which won’t be separated until the end.

do you have the Fear of Death? the fear of

Unsatisfactory life?

Why don’t to live every second, every minute

with satisfaction and giving full dedication to the things

you wanna do.

Or simply you love to do.

There is no tomorrow, no yesterday.

All possibilities are gathered in one word.

TODAY!

If you live in today the fear of death cant

scare you at all.

Because you have lived your life to the fullest.

No-man’s-land !

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The road was shattered, the patches of fire were spread all over the place and I was running as fast as I could. People were running to save their breath. As I was running there were sounds of explosions and terrifying sound of people saying ” help me”. A women half buried under the burning car, a man with a half leg cut crawling on the road to save his life, a child hidden behind the unrooted- shattered tree &many more and eyes of all people were full of fear and a pain which bring the shit out of your heart. I went near the traffic lights trying to breathe and recollect what had happened. An injured man was passing the road, but the car behind him exploded with explosive and I say the flames and heard the voice of scattering soul but couldn’t help this out as the sight was full of fire and smell of explosives which was leading to restlessness and lost the track of senses after seeing the burning man.

” wake up – wake up”, a sound that was constant for few minutes, it was my mother.My eyes were swollen and opened a little. I was trying to recall what happened? What I saw was it real? was that the burning man rescued or not? And where was I? how I Came here?

The doctor said to calm down and checked the BP and ran other tests and injected some medicine which again caused a drowsiness from which I came to senses. The sound of people over that miserable place was, again and again, coming back in my head all the night.

I woke up and I was told that I was stuck at a bomb blast in the region and all that I  saw was the sight of the explosion. The impact of heat was still on the nerves and the faces full of fear were not leaving the sight whenever I close my eyes.

I was discharged in the evening and decided to go at the sight of occurrence and saw the disgrace, back destroyed area. If I wasn’t rescued at the correct time, I would be the part of the ashes or the black dust.there was stairs at the end of that road, I just stepped on that stairs and I slipped and …….

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……….. I woke up on the bed in my room. This was a nightmare! Which started from Nomansland and ended in nowhere.

 If you ever face the death so close, what the last thought came to your mind?( think about that).

I thought a lot about this nightmare. The point of blogging this out was you never know what future holds for you or if you are going to live or not.

So, do what you want today. Respect mankind and be kind!

 

 

Change? or no change?

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From many years, I have seen people talking

about, “how to change the negative side or perspective?”.

that affect the working of the brain ?”.

In life, we have faced a variety of things, that were positive

as well as some were negative.

We all want our life to be a place where

when we open our eyes whatever we see is positive &

makes us feel happpppppyyyy. Isn’t it?

If we understand that Eyes see everything either it’s positive

or negative and still there is not a single impact on the eye’s condition.

If your eye was able to see something wrong or say disastrous, then was

there something happened to your eyes?

OR  when your eyes see something beautiful, did the condition

or sight of seeing through that eyes improved?

When you see a good or bad thing, their is no impact on eyes, LIKEWISE

when your brain is in contact with any positive or negative feeling, the impact on your brain is zeroooooooo.

now whether the thought is bad or worst and

good or wonderful, the impact on the thinking of the brain

is zero!

There is no impact of +ve or -ve thoughts on your thinking. Accept it & Ask what can do ? (answer will be nothing) So why to worry ?

Then we analyze the situation with a word change?.

Basically CHANGE  means the solution to a problem.

the problems can be the one which

can be solved and we can work on it with the correct knowledge.

These are all choice.

But,

There are things in your life that you can’t change . LIKE your past !

If you say forget about it ? its not at all possible.

If there is a problem then be solution oriented and

act accordingly.

But if there is some memory in your past or present that

you can’t forget and makes you feel deviated. Then what to do?

First of all be aware of,

You can run away from a person or you can act on a person but you can’t run and act on a memory . how to deal with it?

The more you think not to think

about certain problem or mistake or event, the more it will create a space

in your mind.

JUst remember,

Everyone makes Mistakes, they are symbol of trying to make something possible and if it doesn’t work then what?

We all life is a perception of perfection

if we know that nobody is perfect in their own way,

then what harm will our mistakes lead to our

thinking.

“I am not perfect and I AM OK with it.” If you say these things to yourself themn the INNER World will be PERFECT for you to act , think and smile etc.

If you say, the sensation of regret should not be there?

Then who will you GROW beyond that?

 The thought about the problem is great but THINKING about

it in negative way is  wrong and causes stress

+Ve and -Ve thoughts are for survival and causes action and the thought direction is on in your hand 🙂

 

 

Game of Feelings!

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Why don’t you do ‘THIS’ thing?

the question that most of us are asked to symbolize

a person to categorize them under a tag i.e

HE or SHE!

Then a bunch of people decides on the basis of

*THIS* that he is a man or not?. or that she is a woman

or not?

The person who is facing this *THIS* problem is getting

a lot of bad feelings inside. To make that bad feeling go away

what he or she will try that *THIS*, just to prove other that

they can do that *THIS*. Now he or she will be the part of the Grown-up gang!

Desire is telling that person that *THIS* is wrong,

but the FEELING is telling to do that makes the Current Situation easy.

Mind has a tendency to look for EXACT opposite to the

thing that causes a bad feeling.

Example:- to deal with stress, people do smoking it’s just

their way of dealing with frustration; but in the end what that frustration was?

just a FEELING!

FEELINGS  are temporary!

If we understand the feelings are temporary,

either they are good or bad, but we will have

a way to deal with them automatically and peacefully.

The more we run from the feelings, the more they will chase us! why not to face it ?

Now, the thing comes, HOW WOULD WE DECIDE THAT THE FEELING IS CORRECT

OR NOT?

Simple way is to ask yourself that whatever I am going to do,

IS IT CORRECT FOR ME? IS IT OKAY FOR ME?IS IT CORRECT FOR THE PEOPLE IN MY SURROUNDING OR NOT?

If the feeling is good, do it.

if the feeling is bad, then also it BUT the thing is that work should be

correct.

For Example:- the difference between love and attraction is?

ATTRACTION gives you temporary pleasure, BUT

permanent pain.

LOVE gives you temporary pain, BUT

permanent happiness or something beyond that.

when you are beyond your state of mind,

that thought is called LOVE!

When you ask a dancer when was your best performance?

the answer was when she lost herself

in the performance.

For me, that state of love can be achieved by meditation.

When you will first start the things the mind

will always distract you that this thing is difficult just

leave it. But Now you know it’s a FEELING.

But on the basis of my willpower, I decided to take

the risk. Now I can do the meditation process nearly in hours.

I am not doing it for feelings, but I am doing meditation

because I love doing it.

because love is irrespective of feelings.

That’s the root cause of separation, people are

there for each other only till the feelings are good and

when they face the bad feelings, the result is DIVORCE or

BREAK-UPS.

Love means to be there whether

you feel good or bad.

It doesn’t really matter what you feel!

THE SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE,

LEAVE THOUSANDS OF DESIRES AND THOUGHTS FOR THAT

ONE COMMITMENT OF THE PASSION.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALL IN MIND?

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To know whether it is correct or not,

Does it really matter?

People talking about things,

that hold both sides of the coin.

why make a discussion out of

anything that goes nowhere better than

nothing.

At the same time, If I ask you what you know

about your health?

The answer is ZERO.

So What are you doing? If you don’t know

about yourself? Why won’t you save yourself?

Will you prefer going to hospital instead

in the end?

The thing is the usage of the brain in the wrong direction.

Like people always wonder what will happen

NEXT ?.

See whatever happens it’s not going to change your

Existence. How would your life be better to think about what comes

Next?

It’s actually based on the fact that how much you

understand the things deeply.

The more you think deeply, the more you understand it

in a right way.  You will be able to control your desires and thoughts.

The ultimate solution is to figure out the

perfect balance between the things.

Whenever we go in EXTREME of something, That

is the cause of Misery.

Everything holds a perfect value in your brain,

If you give that much importance then you are

safe.

If you have importance to a fear, then it will be

turned out in that way only.

Desires are very cunning. but if you understand the desires

are cunning then you will be able to tackle. isn’t it?

desires feed on experiences, but they don’t know what is

right or wrong .BUT

the brain needs to feed on Right information.

the whole world is the marketplace for the

DESIRES.. where the salesman will even give you poison if

they earn what they want. Do think about it?

We all focus on desires not the correctness of experiences.

Mind has Some liberations which go in negative,

if you are aware of these then life will be so easy?

First  one is overexcited, this is basically a syndrome

which turns you from a conscious state to an unconscious state.

Where normally people get carried away.

You must know the difference between excited and

overexcited?

Second, comes the reaction of the state of uncertainty.

You can choose that if you want a sensation of fear or something else

be dominant on you or not?

Like pleasure sensations are important, Likewise, the painful

sensations are also important. So, the painful

sensations are correct or not?

These are correct because these both are important and  the part

of our survival.

The fault here is the thinking continuously about what we want

and don’t want.

There is no sadness in life. It has arisen just because something

has been done wrong.

It’s just an illusion of the unaware fact that you hold

in your mind.

Last, when you are doing nothing, what you are doing?

If you know how to be happy in that blank space.

The stress is NOT of survival but it is always the

ADDITIONAL DESIRES.

But If you know that both pleasure and painful

sensations are for few seconds then you would realize,

That all you Fears really matter or not?

 


KEEP SMILING AND TRY TO BE HAPPY IN THAT NEUTRAL PHASE

 

 

 

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Floccinaucinihilipilification!

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Sometimes the words weren’t enough,

May be it was just the way to

turn to a harbor.

.The winds were whispering something

unheard before and yet

that was always wanted to be heard.

It’s not the affection but yet the

truth of thyself.

The thing that most of us never took that

importantly, But what if everyone was able to

recognize that?

what then happily ever within will rule

over happily ever-after?

But the twist in the story,

Where the Rules were reframed and

values were believed to be re-written.

Now that was where Me meet I ,

this bond existed since birth but never given

that importance and believe.

This was where that barrier would not longer

be a corn for the dreams to follow

the course of heart.

This was where the soul thanks for its own

EXISTENCE!